I have not posted in a long time.
I am tired.
It's not an excuse. It's reality.
Being a mom is hard work. I used to think "Ha, those stay at home moms have it made. I would love to lounge around all day, nap when the kids nap, be lazy."
First, let me apologize for my ignorance.
There is no lounging. A typical day is not watching tv and completing craft projects. It's more like this...
Feed Campbell
Burp Campbell
Feed her some more if still fussy. (She's a little piggy.)
Burp again
Change diaper
Rock her to sleep
Put her down in crib or pack n play
Pick her up and rock her back to sleep after she wakes up within 20 seconds of putting her down
Pump
Clean pumping equipment and bottles
Get bottles ready for next feeding
(I know you're thinking, "Sleep when they sleep." Hahaha, funny.)
Check on Campbell
Lie down and try to catch your breath and relax enough to maybe fall asleep
Hear noise, get up and check on Campbell
20 minutes later fall asleep
10 minutes later hear Campbell stirring
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- time to wake up and repeat all of the above.
It is exhausting!
This repeats until Randy walks in the door. At that moment, I hand Campbell off, so I can cook dinner and give my arms a rest.
I'm writing this post to help educate my non-mom friends. I feel like I missed this tutorial.
Here's what you hear when you're pregnant.
"It's the greatest thing on earth."
"Babies are the best."
"Enjoy all your time off with her."
"They grow so fast."
Here's what you don't hear.
(Disclosure: I know this post makes me sound like a terrible mom. Here's the deal, I love my little girl with all my heart. She is truly a blessing from God. I wouldn't trade her for anything that I'm about to write. I am not ungrateful. I'm just being honest. I feel new moms aren't honest about all the changes in fear they will sound bad or an unloving mother. The only posts you hear from new moms on Facebook are about how impressed they are about how much their little one slept last night. (This forces you to compare and want to curse.) I'm sure I'll be judged for being selfish, but babies change your whole life. It's a huge change and transition.)
-You will never be more exhausted in your life. Motherhood is like cramming for finals, day after day. I am pulling all nighters like nobody's business.
-You are an emotional roller coaster that has gone off the tracks and now you're hanging upside down wailing frantically.
-You cry about everything! You're also completely irrational.
-You will be ticked off at your husband. Everything he does will irritate the snot out of you. You will be going to sleep (3 hours later than him) and see he's peacefully counting sheep. And then you have this sudden urge to pick up a pillow and just smack him a good one. You'll want to shout, "Why don't you have boobs!!?!?!?!? Why don't you have milk to feed her?" Did I mention you'll be completely irrational?
-Everything is a guess. There are no instructions. Here's our game plan.
She cries.
We brainstorm what she needs.
Randy and Penny's conversations: "Is she hungry? Did she burp? Maybe she has gas. Put her on her tummy. Clean diaper? Was her hiney red? Get a blanket. Maybe she's cold. Does she feel clammy? Unswaddle her some. Maybe her swaddle is too tight. When did she eat again? I felt her toot. I think it's gas. Why don't you read to her? I'll try rocking her. Maybe we should sing to her. Try bouncing her. That's too hard of a bounce. Walk with her. Are you sure she burped? Where is that dang paci?"
It.is.hard.work.
Everyone does tell you "it gets better." Well since the word, "Sibling" is in our English vocabulary, I believe them.
Sometimes I look at Campbell and think God has trusted us to bring this little girl up. He gave us a big job, and we are not going to let Him down. She is counting on us. Here is this precious little being who is so innocent. There are so many children who are neglected and abused. I can't even imagine. Like I said before the love I feel for Campbell trumps all of the above. And there are moments that just leave me with chills. For instance, last night at a Superbowl party, she started crying. I was found quickly. The moment she was placed in my arms, she quit crying.
This single moment, this "first" made all 41 sleepless nights of her life worth it. She knows I am her momma. She knows I am the one to help/protect/soothe her. And that is a role I am honored to have.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
First Date Night
I am beyond excited for this evening!!!
Randy and I are going on our first date since Campbell arrived. (A huge thank you to Mimi!!!)
I can't wait for an evening out. We have lots to celebrate (his promotion to a PE at work, the sweet little spirit and life of Campbell, 4.5 years of marriage, and me losing weight!)
Nothing like celebrating losing weight with a food reward.
I saw this quote on Pinterest, "Food is not a reward. You are not a dog."
Hahaha, but seriously, what do they know? That person should see my face when they plop down that piece of cheesecake on our table when we're dining at the ever delicious Cheesecake Factory tonight.
That slice of heaven will be screaming out, "You go Penny. You celebrate those late night feedings and sleepless nights."
I'll even wiggle my butt for that one.
Speaking of butts, mine is shrinking. Whoo hoo! Overall, I gained 42 lbs with Campbell. I weighed myself yesterday, and I've lost a total of, wait for it, wait for it,
24 lbs!!!!!!
We don't need to do the math to figure out how much more I have to go (that would defeat the point of even going out tonight). But yay!!!
Take that rude lady at the outlet mall who had the nerve to ask me, "Have you had your baby yet?"
Umm yah, three weeks ago. Thank you very much! And suck it!
Randy and I are going on our first date since Campbell arrived. (A huge thank you to Mimi!!!)
I can't wait for an evening out. We have lots to celebrate (his promotion to a PE at work, the sweet little spirit and life of Campbell, 4.5 years of marriage, and me losing weight!)
Nothing like celebrating losing weight with a food reward.
I saw this quote on Pinterest, "Food is not a reward. You are not a dog."
Hahaha, but seriously, what do they know? That person should see my face when they plop down that piece of cheesecake on our table when we're dining at the ever delicious Cheesecake Factory tonight.
That slice of heaven will be screaming out, "You go Penny. You celebrate those late night feedings and sleepless nights."
I'll even wiggle my butt for that one.
Speaking of butts, mine is shrinking. Whoo hoo! Overall, I gained 42 lbs with Campbell. I weighed myself yesterday, and I've lost a total of, wait for it, wait for it,
24 lbs!!!!!!
We don't need to do the math to figure out how much more I have to go (that would defeat the point of even going out tonight). But yay!!!
Take that rude lady at the outlet mall who had the nerve to ask me, "Have you had your baby yet?"
Umm yah, three weeks ago. Thank you very much! And suck it!
Stranger Danger
So I haven't addressed the blog elephant.
Umm I'm not sure that works here. I was going for the whole "elephant in the room" phrase.
Forgive me?
Okay, so Randy didn't get his little boy. And to be honest, I was very concerned. Especially when I see that longing in his face when that blasted Frosted Flakes commercial comes on. You know the one with the father/son bonding happening over their bowl of cereal. Thanks Kellogs.
Well after Campbell entered the world, I could see he was smitten with her. I asked him if he was okay, and he said, "You know I was putting on some."
Exhale...
And besides, he's really cute with her. And the precious factor keeps growing each day. She has him wrapped around her finger.
I know he wants a son one day to play sports with and give a hard time to. (Sorry, Campbell both of the above will be happening regardless of your gender.) He told me he's more worried about raising a daughter. The reason?
"Penny I was a 13 year old boy, and I know what they think."
He's super protective of her already, and I just love watching those two bond in the evenings. He calls her his "Pretty Girl."
In the hospital, Campbell hated being unswaddled. She hated having her clothes or diaper changed. Randy was changing her on the day we were leaving, and she was screaming her head off. He told her, "That's right Campbell. Anytime someone wants to take your clothes off, you just scream your head off. Stranger Danger!"
hehehe
Umm I'm not sure that works here. I was going for the whole "elephant in the room" phrase.
Forgive me?
Okay, so Randy didn't get his little boy. And to be honest, I was very concerned. Especially when I see that longing in his face when that blasted Frosted Flakes commercial comes on. You know the one with the father/son bonding happening over their bowl of cereal. Thanks Kellogs.
Well after Campbell entered the world, I could see he was smitten with her. I asked him if he was okay, and he said, "You know I was putting on some."
Exhale...
And besides, he's really cute with her. And the precious factor keeps growing each day. She has him wrapped around her finger.
I know he wants a son one day to play sports with and give a hard time to. (Sorry, Campbell both of the above will be happening regardless of your gender.) He told me he's more worried about raising a daughter. The reason?
"Penny I was a 13 year old boy, and I know what they think."
He's super protective of her already, and I just love watching those two bond in the evenings. He calls her his "Pretty Girl."
In the hospital, Campbell hated being unswaddled. She hated having her clothes or diaper changed. Randy was changing her on the day we were leaving, and she was screaming her head off. He told her, "That's right Campbell. Anytime someone wants to take your clothes off, you just scream your head off. Stranger Danger!"
hehehe
Thursday, January 12, 2012
How It All Went Down...
I'm behind with posts.
But I want to get this one written before I forget. Childbirth is something you want to forget.
My sweet Campbell knew I had big things planned on my first weekend home for Christmas vacation.
On Saturday, we drove to West to celebrate the wedding of our dear friends, Chris and Andrea. Rands was a smokin' hot groomsmen, and he was thrilled to get to sit out on all the dancing. He was babysitting his very pregnant wife. We didn't spend the night since I was so close to having Campbell. I didn't want to deliver in Waco.
I did however get a West kolache. I have to say I'm partial to Weikel's bakery kolaches. They were good, but not LaGrange good.
Sunday, Jana and I saw the "Beauty and the Beast" Broadway show. It was the most anticipated show of this season (according to Penny). Thank you Campbell for letting me sing "Be our Guest" all evening long.
Who's ready for the 3D production?!?!?!?!
Monday I was able to get in all of my Christmas shopping. I was exhausted by 5 o'clock. My goal was to wrap presents that evening. Well, I kinda got side tracked.
I started feeling strange around 9:30. I have had so many Braxton Hicks contractions, I sorta dismissed these weird pains.
Well around 10:00 I mentioned to Randy that something isn't right. The cramps were happening lower in my stomach than before.
Calm and cool Randy was playing Playstation, Madden to be exact. He was in the third quarter. His response, "Well just monitor it and start counting the time."
This means he wanted to finish his game.
I went with it because I just knew I wasn't going in to labor. Well by 10:30, the pains were coming every 6 minutes apart. After packing my bag (yes, I still hadn't completely finished that task) we were driving to the hospital. At 11 pm I was doing those handy dandy breathing exercises between talking to Nana and Mimi. Randy texted my mom and said "Standby, contractions are coming sooner and sooner."
"Stand by" to my mom means load the car as fast as you can and put it in drive. My dad told her, "Mary, wait until morning. My momma cows go into labor all the time in the middle of the night and labor for hours. She won't have it until sometime tomorrow."
Yes, my dad compared me to a momma cow. Thanks Dad, thanks.
"Wait, what do you mean I'm not very far along!!!!" After being checked, I was told we are going to monitor things for about an hour or so. "Please don't send me home!"
Don't go anywhere friends because there's a kicker. I was running a temperature. The reason? Those blasted contractions. I was getting so hot, and a temperature means an automatic hospital admittance.
Thank you very much!
Somewhere in the middle of the night, the pain of the contractions were unbearable. I was progressing and my mood had turned sour.
I'm pretty sure I snapped at Randy and my mom. Then the drugs came.
I was so glad to have Randy, Mimi, Nana, and Courtney witness the effects of drugs. I don't do well on them. I become crazy. This drug called Sedol (sp?)was the best thing on earth. I loved it!!! I was hilarious. We have a video of my antics to savor this special moment. Courtney told me she never laughed so hard in her life. We're not sharing it anytime soon. Maybe one day. Maybe.
The epidural happened sometime between 3-4. I'm not such a fan. I don't think mine worked too swell because I still felt tons of pain during this whole process. I'll spare you the details, but I should have just gone with a second helping of that miracle drug, Sedol.
At 5:35, Campbell entered the world. I pushed for 50 minutes. Dr. Hinds held her up and said, "It's a girl." I said, "Thank goodness it's over." He told me first babies usually don't go that well. Praise God!
I am very thankful for a safe and quick delivery. Campbell is nothing short of perfect. Randy entered the waiting room to announce it's a girl!!!
I think everything after that moment feels like a blur. We didn't get any sleep that night and the trend is still continuing:)
But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Here are some hospital pictures...
Our first picture together...
My pretty girl...
My whole world in one picture...
Dr. Hinds!!! I love, love, love him. He's such a caring doctor. He called me a week after I delivered to check on me and to let me know how great I did through the whole birth. He told me that he'll miss Randy and me in our weekly appointments, and he's glad he has one couple who doesn't want to find out the gender currently. He said, "I can play this game well." And he does, he would purposefully leave wrong clues to throw Randy:)
Seriously, this man is the best. I even have his personal cell phone number. He gave it to me at my first appointment in case I would have a complication or an emergency. What doctors do that? Luckily, I never needed to use it. He's beyond impressive.
But I want to get this one written before I forget. Childbirth is something you want to forget.
My sweet Campbell knew I had big things planned on my first weekend home for Christmas vacation.
On Saturday, we drove to West to celebrate the wedding of our dear friends, Chris and Andrea. Rands was a smokin' hot groomsmen, and he was thrilled to get to sit out on all the dancing. He was babysitting his very pregnant wife. We didn't spend the night since I was so close to having Campbell. I didn't want to deliver in Waco.
I did however get a West kolache. I have to say I'm partial to Weikel's bakery kolaches. They were good, but not LaGrange good.
Sunday, Jana and I saw the "Beauty and the Beast" Broadway show. It was the most anticipated show of this season (according to Penny). Thank you Campbell for letting me sing "Be our Guest" all evening long.
Who's ready for the 3D production?!?!?!?!
Monday I was able to get in all of my Christmas shopping. I was exhausted by 5 o'clock. My goal was to wrap presents that evening. Well, I kinda got side tracked.
I started feeling strange around 9:30. I have had so many Braxton Hicks contractions, I sorta dismissed these weird pains.
Well around 10:00 I mentioned to Randy that something isn't right. The cramps were happening lower in my stomach than before.
Calm and cool Randy was playing Playstation, Madden to be exact. He was in the third quarter. His response, "Well just monitor it and start counting the time."
This means he wanted to finish his game.
I went with it because I just knew I wasn't going in to labor. Well by 10:30, the pains were coming every 6 minutes apart. After packing my bag (yes, I still hadn't completely finished that task) we were driving to the hospital. At 11 pm I was doing those handy dandy breathing exercises between talking to Nana and Mimi. Randy texted my mom and said "Standby, contractions are coming sooner and sooner."
"Stand by" to my mom means load the car as fast as you can and put it in drive. My dad told her, "Mary, wait until morning. My momma cows go into labor all the time in the middle of the night and labor for hours. She won't have it until sometime tomorrow."
Yes, my dad compared me to a momma cow. Thanks Dad, thanks.
"Wait, what do you mean I'm not very far along!!!!" After being checked, I was told we are going to monitor things for about an hour or so. "Please don't send me home!"
Don't go anywhere friends because there's a kicker. I was running a temperature. The reason? Those blasted contractions. I was getting so hot, and a temperature means an automatic hospital admittance.
Thank you very much!
Somewhere in the middle of the night, the pain of the contractions were unbearable. I was progressing and my mood had turned sour.
I'm pretty sure I snapped at Randy and my mom. Then the drugs came.
I was so glad to have Randy, Mimi, Nana, and Courtney witness the effects of drugs. I don't do well on them. I become crazy. This drug called Sedol (sp?)was the best thing on earth. I loved it!!! I was hilarious. We have a video of my antics to savor this special moment. Courtney told me she never laughed so hard in her life. We're not sharing it anytime soon. Maybe one day. Maybe.
The epidural happened sometime between 3-4. I'm not such a fan. I don't think mine worked too swell because I still felt tons of pain during this whole process. I'll spare you the details, but I should have just gone with a second helping of that miracle drug, Sedol.
At 5:35, Campbell entered the world. I pushed for 50 minutes. Dr. Hinds held her up and said, "It's a girl." I said, "Thank goodness it's over." He told me first babies usually don't go that well. Praise God!
I am very thankful for a safe and quick delivery. Campbell is nothing short of perfect. Randy entered the waiting room to announce it's a girl!!!
I think everything after that moment feels like a blur. We didn't get any sleep that night and the trend is still continuing:)
But I wouldn't trade it for the world. Here are some hospital pictures...
Our first picture together...
My pretty girl...
My whole world in one picture...
Dr. Hinds!!! I love, love, love him. He's such a caring doctor. He called me a week after I delivered to check on me and to let me know how great I did through the whole birth. He told me that he'll miss Randy and me in our weekly appointments, and he's glad he has one couple who doesn't want to find out the gender currently. He said, "I can play this game well." And he does, he would purposefully leave wrong clues to throw Randy:)
Seriously, this man is the best. I even have his personal cell phone number. He gave it to me at my first appointment in case I would have a complication or an emergency. What doctors do that? Luckily, I never needed to use it. He's beyond impressive.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
So Very True...
I love Pinterest.
Like in love at 3 am pumping milk and can't stop pinning.
I have so many pins and likes of projects that are screaming with "Oh I'll do that one day."
Just so you know, I'll never do that one day. But it's nice to think otherwise.
And since I miss out on so much sleep these days, it's more like, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I'll NEVER do that."
But if I can buy it, it'll more likely happen.
This will be added to Campbell's room. I ordered it with pink font.
Who knows, she might even take it to college one day.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/71620938/you-are-so-loved-light-blue-screen-print
Campbell is very loved indeed!
Like in love at 3 am pumping milk and can't stop pinning.
I have so many pins and likes of projects that are screaming with "Oh I'll do that one day."
Just so you know, I'll never do that one day. But it's nice to think otherwise.
And since I miss out on so much sleep these days, it's more like, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I'll NEVER do that."
But if I can buy it, it'll more likely happen.
This will be added to Campbell's room. I ordered it with pink font.
Who knows, she might even take it to college one day.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/71620938/you-are-so-loved-light-blue-screen-print
Campbell is very loved indeed!
Friday, January 6, 2012
A Seuss Sleep Retreat
The nursery is done!
The baby came, and then the nursery was done.
Tah-Dah!
Love it!
My sister in law painted that canvas for Campbell. Oh, to have talent!
So pleased with how it turned out. That one wall is still a little empty. It needs something, but I haven't come up with anything creative yet. Maybe a portrait of her mommy:)
The baby came, and then the nursery was done.
Tah-Dah!
Love it!
My sister in law painted that canvas for Campbell. Oh, to have talent!
So pleased with how it turned out. That one wall is still a little empty. It needs something, but I haven't come up with anything creative yet. Maybe a portrait of her mommy:)
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Things I know... (part 7)
- Sleeping is so overrated. Running on 3-4 hours of sleep is the perfect excuse to not have to wear any make-up or cook dinner or do anything for that matter.
-I had no idea how someone so small could mess up so many clothes. I've done more laundry in 2 weeks than I do in a month.
-Baby socks are impossible to keep up with. We have about 5 loose socks roaming around the house.
-It's quite entertaining to match phrases and song lyrics to the beat of my breast pump. So far the sound matches closest with the phrase, "Wreck em' Tech." Hey, when it's 3:30 in the morning, you gotta come up with something to keep from falling asleep.
-Baby burps are LOUD, like in I ask Randy was that him or Campbell?
-Those Pampers people are geniuses. That yellow to blue line that indicates wetness is amazing.
-Campbell loves to poop and pee AFTER YOU TAKE HER DIAPER OFF. You'll just be ready to put a new diaper under her when she lets it rip and/or flow. When that air hits her behind, it's all over. We are taking up to 2 diapers per changing. In the words of Randy, "Campbell this is not good for our diaper investment."
-I used to wish for bigger boobs. What on earth was I thinking? Bigger means more pain. I will now look to my bustier friends with empathy instead of envy.
-Cabin fever has set in. I need at least one outing a day, or I go crazy.
-Our family and friends have been wonderful. From all the delicious casseroles and food brought over to the sweet little clothes/outfits, Campbell is well loved. Oh and her momma thanks those who come to play with Campbell so she can sleep.
-Mopac is starting to like me again. We're not completely there, but we've made progress from that initial night where she growled at me. It was a rough transition, but she'll actually tolerate Campbell's crying now. She still gives the, "Why are you still here look?" every once in a while.
-Lunch meat has never tasted so good and sleeping, I mean laying, on my back is also phenomenal.
-I had no idea how someone so small could mess up so many clothes. I've done more laundry in 2 weeks than I do in a month.
-Baby socks are impossible to keep up with. We have about 5 loose socks roaming around the house.
-It's quite entertaining to match phrases and song lyrics to the beat of my breast pump. So far the sound matches closest with the phrase, "Wreck em' Tech." Hey, when it's 3:30 in the morning, you gotta come up with something to keep from falling asleep.
-Baby burps are LOUD, like in I ask Randy was that him or Campbell?
-Those Pampers people are geniuses. That yellow to blue line that indicates wetness is amazing.
-Campbell loves to poop and pee AFTER YOU TAKE HER DIAPER OFF. You'll just be ready to put a new diaper under her when she lets it rip and/or flow. When that air hits her behind, it's all over. We are taking up to 2 diapers per changing. In the words of Randy, "Campbell this is not good for our diaper investment."
-I used to wish for bigger boobs. What on earth was I thinking? Bigger means more pain. I will now look to my bustier friends with empathy instead of envy.
-Cabin fever has set in. I need at least one outing a day, or I go crazy.
-Our family and friends have been wonderful. From all the delicious casseroles and food brought over to the sweet little clothes/outfits, Campbell is well loved. Oh and her momma thanks those who come to play with Campbell so she can sleep.
-Mopac is starting to like me again. We're not completely there, but we've made progress from that initial night where she growled at me. It was a rough transition, but she'll actually tolerate Campbell's crying now. She still gives the, "Why are you still here look?" every once in a while.
-Lunch meat has never tasted so good and sleeping, I mean laying, on my back is also phenomenal.
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